Ha! There you are mirror, and there you are again. Such a dashing fellow.
Looking good sir, if I say so myself.
I wonder what it’s like for “The Ugly” though.
Newt Gingrich (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I mean, it’s not like they don’t have mirrors in their house, or whatever it is they live in these days.
Of course, I doubt they have as many mirrors as I do, but they must have at least one.
Everybody needs to comb their hair, right?
Alright, maybe not most ugly people need to comb their hair, but I bet they all have a bathroom mirror of sorts. Right?
I can’t help feeling guilty though. Why did God have to give me such chiselled looks, impeccable skin and such great hair?
Oh wait, that hair is a little out-of-place. Good, better.
Imagine though, starting your day ugly. Chances are you’re stupid too I should imagine.
You’re already dreading whatever god-awful job you have to go to. Wherever it is they make the unsightly do these days.
So you’d drag yourself out of bed, already dreading your job. I doubt you’d bother to shower. You may as well smell for one more day, who cares?
Then you go to brush your teeth, and lo and behold. A grotesque person, staring right back at you. How awful.
I wish I could start a charity, but what would be the point? There just aren’t enough plastic surgeons. And lets face it, we need people for the menial jobs. Scrap that idea!
There is so much hideousness in the world though, I could cry. If I could just give one fraction of my beauty to one of my fellow people, I doubt I would, but I’d sure the hell give it a short moment of thought.
Then again, if God wanted everybody as handsome as myself, he’d have done so.
I guess God just hates ugly people.
Anyway, enough of this talking to myself. You’ve got a buy day today Vladimir. Russia isn’t going to run itself!
The Ugly Moose 
Yes, indeed..the ugly people don’t run things as efficiently as the handsome…do they? ;). I think that’s why I personally prefer the grotesque. Did you ever study Da Vinci? Who did he draw? The pretty? I dare say not!
That Vladimir Putin? The one who looks like a cross between Gollum from Lord of the Rings and house-elf Dobby from Harry Potter? A handsome man indeed.
I guess I failed to hit my mark here. You saw VP think HE is the bee knees, not me.
wow, you scared me for a moment there: I thought you called him the Vice President now.
But don’t worry, I got the irony of the post. I don’t think he is handsome or ugly, he is completely bland and unmemorable, just like any KGB agent is supposed to look.
Actually I thought Vladimir was perfect for this piece. He is incredibly narcissistic.
I guess I failed to hit my mark here. You see VP think HE is the bee knees, not me.
Ugly is in the eye of the beholder š
I used to work with a bunch of women who weren’t very attractive (inside or outside) yet they all blew smoke up each others asses, so they all thought they were the cat’s meow. Kinda like that episode of the Twilight Zone where all the ugly doctors with the pig masks were horrified by what true beauty looked like. It just all depends who you’re surrounded by, I guess ….
When you go to Wal-Mart and see how the people are dressed, don’t you wonder if they look in the mirror to check out their cellulite dimpled rears in the morning and say, “Damn, I look hot today.”
You can mock, but think of the money they’re saving with those Roll-back-sweat-shop-Chinese-labor-prices. With that kind of cash they can afford to buy even more ill-fitting clothes.
And Hostess Twinkies.
I read a story they were going to stop selling those. I’m not sure what that means for Walmart customers.