Cat Actually Doesn't Speak English

Here she is again. Good god. Blah, blah, blah. The moment you walk through that door it starts.

Lets get this straight. I’m a cat, and I have no idea what you’re saying.

I’m pretty sure even if I did understand, nothing you have to say would interest me.

The best I can do is make a weird screech, but even that sounds better than your strange gargle.

You like that noise I make though don’t you? However, I must point out, I dislike it when you attempt to imitate me.

You really are a creepy little woman. I’m not even sure if I’ll stay with you beyond this week.

Stop touching me like that. Alright then, I suppose you can scratch that one area. Yes, there. That’s the spot.

Good. Now, off with you. I desire food.

Good girl, that’s the food container I require. Quickly, present it to me witch! You are a slow servant indeed.

However, you are considerably faster than the feeble old woman next door.

Watching her open my food you’d think she was crafting a swiss watch.

What are you doing with my dish of food woman? Really? Just leaving it, on the tile over there?

Your Master (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

No! I’m not getting up you hag! Bring it here, and now!

Finally.

You know to place my dinner immediately in front of me. The nerve you have sometimes.

I question if all my valuable time training you is worth the effort.

Now, when do you propose to sit down? I desire to sit on your lap and warm up.

Oh yes, I suppose you must feed yourself.

Make it quick though.

Now what are you prattling on about? Now I think about it, you haven’t stopped since you walked into my abode. Please, just shut up.

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